Intensity

Training's picking up, and I'm not sure how we are gonna survive.. Its been awhile since I felt so negative, but after really giving it some thought, the 8 of us are gonna have some hard times ahead. Pushing was never easy, and its hard even for our best team. Can the 8 of us really deploy half an FU all by ourselves? With all that pushing, tests etc etc.. It could take hours just to set up..

Looking also at how disadvantaged we are compared to the rest, I feel damn discouraged. Its not that the SOH must come from guns or anything, but rather, we as gunners don't have the time or strength to do any other kind of physical training. Not to mention study for various tests. I thank our instructors for really trying to cheer us up, but it doesn't change a thing..

Pride.. also half the reason of my nick Pryde.. Thats all what we are hanging on to. I'd be lying if I said my morale was high. At times, I even foresee myself not commissioning: an event I do not want to see happen. But its a possibility.. And the more I think of it, the chances seem to be dwindling. I might be doing pretty well in my course but yet, test grades are often my strong point, but physically I'm really having troubles.

I wish I could think more positively, but I can't.. One things for sure though, I won't give up. Not on myself, or on the course. I want to prove the trend wrong. Gunners don't get chopped, and I hope my fellow coursemates will work towards it. Jia You!!